November 10th, 2001

screw-on head


According to i'm a hippo:
Genera and species: Hippopotamus Amphibius
Collective Term: A huddle of hippo
Hippos are highly complex creatures, easily recognizable by their large bodies and slow-moving lifestyles. While hippos aren't the only animal personalities with such grand frames, they are self conscious about their ballast, disguising it with loose clothing and by avoiding of social interactions.

Most hippos never really accept themselves for who they are. Traditionally viewed as jolly fat people, they have tried every diet on the market. But, the hippo's heart is a cauldron of powerfully conflicting feelings and the average hippo loves to wallow in this emotional stew. It's not that a hippo gets angry more often than others do, it's just that its anger is magnified to an outrageous degree. In fact, the wild variety of hippo kills more people than any other predator in Africa, including the malevolent crocodile. But, even with this occasionally destructive behavior, there is no bigger heart that beats in the animal kingdom.

Everything about the hippo is big and slow but once it has gained momentum, watch out! Its performance in the boudoir is no exception and the hippo's mate must be able to handle some fierce lovin'. When it mates, it prefers others of equally oversized dimensions such as elephants and rhinoceroses, but is best suited for marriage with water-based animals like sea lions and dolphins. It is the ponderous walrus, however, that is its ideal mate, for it shares the hippo's passion for food and opulence. Think Tom and Roseanne.

Careers and Hobbies
Collection Agent Chef
Food critic Receptionist

Baking Eating
Knitting Soap operas

Famous Hippos
Roseanne, Shelly Winters, Julia Childs.
screw-on head

i love the onion

Scorpio: (Oct. 24 - Nov. 21)
You will score a major victory at work when you're able to produce documentation proving that the appropriate person has died and made you God.